As a matter of fact.

You know what i miss the most?

I miss being emotionally involved.

Like when i used to so much love playing games especially Final Fantasy. I would be emotionally and spiritually attached with the game. I would feel like i am in the game when playing it. That's why i would play it for hours with bathroom and food breaks only. I'd follow the storyline like it was my own life.

But now, i don't even dare to open any other games because i'm afraid of being too emotonally involved and getting heartbroken. Although, i don't recall being heartbroken, i do have this feeling like i was let down after being too emotionally attached to something so stupid so little an issue. because of that, i feel afraid and try to avoid becoming emotionally attached.

The only thing i can come to being near to that kind of attachment now is when i am watching Grey's Anatomy. I would cry everytime a good background music is used and the scene includes people having a breakdown. I am a sucker for those. And that's the only time i feel happy because i feel emotionally attached and involved. That is my triumph but it is also my downfall.