As a due warning to those who might feel a stingy sensation in their four chambers of the heart after reading this, i would like to say sorry if it is partly caused by my writing these things which i am about to tell.
Honestly speaking, i seriously do not know how love feels like. In the metaphorical sense and physical sense of the word. This time i am not talking about any kind of love other than friendship. Yeah i know, even i feel cheesy just saying that word. Friendship.
But what i am trying to say here is that i don't feel love towards my friends. I'm not saying that i don't love my friends and i am definitely not saying that my friends don't love me. But then again, perhaps that is what i am saying.
But what i really mean is, how do you know you love your friends? I mean reaaally?
Because I don't text my friends regularly, i don't call them period. Even if they called me i wouldn't be entertaining them so much because of having nothing to say. I will just ask questions that would seem personal but in truth they are not. I am a great liar. To me and to others around me. So when does the feeling "I love my friends to bits" come in? What does it feel like? Is it some tingling sensation at the tips of your fingers? Or is it the laughter that still hasn't gone away after you laughed until you wet your pants?
How am i to know that my friends love me back? How am i supposed to know they miss me as much as i miss them? What kind of friendship is this if it was built on questions that are never answered?
I guess a large part of this problem is my fault too. I don't say i love them and i miss them as much as i would want to. I admit that i am not that "love schmove" kind of guy. But deep down inside, i'm all gooey and jelly to the core.
My motive of bringing this issue up? I miss my friends dearly, and now i think i feel the love. ca't you?
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