Two for company, three's a crowd.

I just had a moment of clarity just now and i really need to just write it down.

So i realized that i am uncomfortable in large crowds. Although i am able to make friends with lots of sorts of people from all walks of life, i just can't be in a large group at one given time.

Most easiest example, i hate it when i go out with friends, and in that party, consists of up to ten people. Eventhough i am acquainted with all of them and i know each and every one of them personally, i still feel uncomfortable.

Perhaps it's because that i can't make time to spend it with each and every one and i will end up hanging out or sticking to one person whom i feel most closest to or easiest to hang out with. IT's the survival of the fittest for me when that happens.

I guess ever since i was little, i have been used to spending time and having fun with a close knitted group of people. I prefer going out and spending time with up to five people but usually i am with 3. 3 is a very safe number for your information.

3 means perfect, completeness. It could be represented as past, present, future. It could also be represented as front, middle and back, whatever that means.

But if the situation begs me to have many people gathering to get together, then who am i to deny it the happiness it longs. Sometimes, that's why i don't like reunions, especially when people who i don't actually like but pretend to like will be attending because i hate to act nice and friendly when i am not in the mood. It's too hypocritical.

What a stupid realization. I thought i found a cure for cancer. I guess i did.