Sunday, 7 February 2010

Need no explanation.

I'm not done yet.

I haven't even finished watching Stargate Atlantis season 4 and 5 and now they've come up with a brand new series of Stargate. Stargate Universe.

If only i had the time and the resources.

In my dreams.

Intro and extro. Endo and ecto. In and out.

"If sadness is what happens when you turn your anger inwards, hope is what happens when you turn your happiness, outwards."

As a matter of fact.

You know what i miss the most?

I miss being emotionally involved.

Like when i used to so much love playing games especially Final Fantasy. I would be emotionally and spiritually attached with the game. I would feel like i am in the game when playing it. That's why i would play it for hours with bathroom and food breaks only. I'd follow the storyline like it was my own life.

But now, i don't even dare to open any other games because i'm afraid of being too emotonally involved and getting heartbroken. Although, i don't recall being heartbroken, i do have this feeling like i was let down after being too emotionally attached to something so stupid so little an issue. because of that, i feel afraid and try to avoid becoming emotionally attached.

The only thing i can come to being near to that kind of attachment now is when i am watching Grey's Anatomy. I would cry everytime a good background music is used and the scene includes people having a breakdown. I am a sucker for those. And that's the only time i feel happy because i feel emotionally attached and involved. That is my triumph but it is also my downfall.

Saturday, 6 February 2010

Too sexy for my education.

Trying to go crazy and go against the tide is getting pretty tiresome. I wish my head was not like this. I wish my thinking style was not like this. I wish I was just normal. Low profile. A guy who is not on anyone's radar.

Not yet.

But now that i have always been on people's radar, it's getting pretty boring and it is getting pretty lonely that on the same radar, it's not just me that is on it. There are others also.

The worst thing that could happen to someone who has been talking behind people's back is that people are actually talking behind his back.

This is what i am going to do.

Nowadays everybody seems to be trying to stand out.

And you know what i am going to do?

I am trying to sink in. I am just going to lay low for a while.

You know why?

Because everybody will stand out and i will be the only one laying low. So what can you see now?

It means, you gotta think outside the box and go get a new box cause the old one is getting pretty lame.

Tuesday, 2 February 2010

Who knows what she sees through her mismatched eyes.

"I lost some time once, it's always in the last place you look for it."

Living in the past.

Songs that i associate with incidents or phases or people that had touched my heart in my life.

No Doubt- When i was in Sekolah Kebangsaan Sungai Tekali, everyday in the morning, on the way to school in the car, i would put the No Doubt tape and listen to ti. It was my eldest brother's but i don't know how it got in the car. All i knew was everyday in the morning i'd listen to it and sing along and my dad would just drive the car since he was the Headmaster at said school. Evertime i listen to No Doubt music, i remember these times.

Gavin DeGraw- I don't wanna be- When i was in secondary school in the lower secondary classes, during those years, before i got into the hostel, at home in the night there would be this programme called 8tv Quickie and everyday there would be television series televised during the slot. ne of those is One tree Hill. Although i am not that of a fan of One Tree Hill, i still watched it because there were no other programmes during that time. So the next best thing is still okay. And speaking of One Tree Hill i would always remember of The O.C. since at those times, those two were head to head fighting for the number one spot in the hearts of teenagers, and The O.C. took mine.

Hercules- go the distance( or any other Disney songs in Disney movies when i was small)- it would remind me to a time when i was living with my mother in a land far far away. I'd play by myself or other neighbours that share my luck while my mum busied herself with work and taking care of her youngest child. I was happy during this time. Of course i was, i was small and had my innocence. I did not care for the world because the world was my playground.

Limp Bizkit -Behind blue eyes - When i was living in the hostel for about roughly one year, there was this friend of mine who was so into punk and rock and whatever you guys call it, goth or something. He was so into it and told me about it saying that there is a code they have to stick to. Like a prnciple of life and they have to have the education of being a punk rocker goth. Like there is a school where you get to learn about all that stuff. At that time i thought it was funn, and i do still think it was funny. But at least he had something he sticks instead of something else. So i'd see he listening to a Walkman and headbanging to a tune. I would always ask to listen to the songs he listens to and one of them is Limp Bizkit. Until now, everytime i hear behind blue eyes, i would flashback to those times during my residence in the hostel.

Alicia Keys - Karma- I'd remember the times when i had a pet sister.

Boneca- When my friend was still alive.

All-Amercian rejects - It ends tonight- To this little petite girl whom i thought was and is still cute and would love to be on happy terms again, not slowly drifting apart.

Time to go reminisce.

I am uber lame.

drop dead, gorgeous. head over heels. have the butterflies in the stomach.