Sunday, 31 January 2010

Makes me want to vomit.

Why is it that the time you get a a cool camera, you are thus considered a photographer? And just because that camera of yours is cool, every picture you take is considered a photography?

Are pictures taken from un-cool cameras not considered as photography too? Are they worth less than your cool-pictures from cool-cameras?

Saturday, 30 January 2010


I don't have anything to say anymore, currently.

I am not that talkative anymore. I am not that funny anymore. I am not that crazy anymore.

I have transgressed and regressed and re-transgressed and mutated into something that is not me anymore. Or perhaps maybe it is me. Who knows.

What i know is, i am no the me i used to be. Are you?

Thursday, 28 January 2010

I am having the blues.

Talk philosophy to me and i'm already yours.

Make me laugh and you have my heart.

Make me dream of you, that means you've won and always will.

Let me borrow a few words from a very famous song,

I'll give you all i got to give
If you say you love me too
I may not have a lot to give
But what i got i give to you
I don't care to much for money
Cause money an't buy me love.


Today is the first time i skipped biology lecture. Unintentionally.

It was friggin funny. But it was also kind of fun. Without the u. Just with the me.

And most of my assignments are done, but this following week will be a very very hectic week. Oh how i wish i was an A student.

Wednesday, 27 January 2010

Best comic scene ever.

Hob: Tell you what, I’ll be here in another 100 years, and if YOU’RE here then, too, it will be because we’re friends. No other reason, right? Right?

100 years later.

Hob: I thought you weren't going to show up.

Morpheus: I was always told it is bad manners to keep one's friends waiting.

Sunday, 24 January 2010

This is going to hurt.

Woke up early in the morning just so that i could feel bad because i'm going back to the seclusion of "home sweet home".

Going to miss everybody. Eventhough most of them i did not have a chance to see and meet up, but still going to miss them like it was yesterday we had fun together.

Well then, i wish everyone well and good luck to the coming examination called Life. I hope everyone passes Life with flying colours.

Saturday, 23 January 2010


My heart goes out to my friend who just lost her loved one. Although i cannot say that i feel her pain, but at least i can imagine it and how it must be tough for her. I am sorry. But this is what is called destiny. We should accept it. Eventhough it will hurt you everytime and leave you scars, but we must move on. Live our life to the fullest eh.

I hope everything turned out good for you eventhough it turned out bad for your loved one. I am not that articulate and good with words but i sincerely wish you the best and if you need anything, i will try my best to provide.

Al-fatihah. Requiescat in pace.

Friday, 22 January 2010

Apa ini?

Apa pasal sejak kebelakangan ini aku banyak terserempak dengan orang-orang yang aku tak duga akan jumpa di celuk-celuk yang aku tak akan jangka pergi.

Ralat: "...ceruk-ceruk..."

Wednesday, 20 January 2010

Mama Odie.

You gotta dig a little deeper
Find out who you are
You gotta dig a little deeper
It really ain't that far.

When you find out who you are
You find out what you need
blue skies and sunshine guarranteed.

Things they don't teach you at school.

They don't teach you how to make friends with people you want to make friends with.

They don't teach you how to be a good friend.

They don't teach you how to strike up a conversation with strangers.

They don't teach you how to love.

They don't teach you how to accept love and give it back.

The don't teach you to how to avoid people.

They don't teach you that being good is not that good sometimes.

They don't teach you that people change and everything change.

They don't teach you things you ought to know.

Call me at night and i'll go to sleep.

It was nice and fun talking with people whom you've not talked with for a every long time.

Especially when these kinds of people, out of the blue, calls you and strikes up a conversation, while you yourself feels awkward and weird thinking the reason why they called you.

I know this may sound tacky or cheesy but i had fun talking to you. It was refreshing.

I know i may have not been the very best of friend but when it comes down to times of emergency, i emerge.

I hope.

Sunday, 17 January 2010


I befriend people who i like and try to avoid people who i don't. I simply think that why would i become friends with people i don't like.

And the reason i don't like people is because of their personality or perhaps because of their characteristics. Not because of their background, their intelligence, their usefulness, their status, their style and coolness. Definitely not.

But if i want to be a jackass, i'll remind myself to be like that.

Thursday, 14 January 2010

A brief message.

The rain is pouring down on me
It's drowning me now
All i want is to come back home
This old corduroy coat is not keeping me dry
But i can't think of what else to try

That's why
The best thing i can give to you
For me to go
Leave you alone
Cause you got growin up to do.

Let's forgive but not forget.

I think i am seriously going to cough up blood right now. And actually i am looking forward for the pain that comes with the blood and cough than the pain(not exactly pain, more like annoyance) that comes with people in general.

Yeah, i know this is called the brightside and all, but i think i've just lost my innocence and lost the sunshine to be merrymaking right now.

Anyways, tring to distract my attention away from attention seeker and towards the quiet ones.

If ya know what i mean. Which ya don't.

Right now.

I am telling myself that patience is a virtue. Repeatedly. So that when something idiotic comes up. I can look it in the face and just "talk to the hand, bitch".

Wednesday, 13 January 2010

I knew something was up.

Just watched Sherlock Holmes. felt somewhat weird because usually i would be so emotionally involved, emotionally attached, empathy towards the characters in movies, but somehow today, just then, i didn't felt a thing.

Obvious instance, the scene where the bomb exploded and Watson was seen to be in the middle of the explosion. I mean critically, the scene was superb, it had great timing and background music and could make a clown weep.

But the weird thing is, i didn't felt a thing. I am not sure what i felt but i didn't even for a split second thought that he'd be dead. My company with me said or asked or told me that he is dead. But i didn't believed it.

And later, we found out that he didn't and i was sort of right. I wasn't exactly sure whether he is dead or he was alive but i didn't felt him die, get it?

Anyways, at that precise moment, i was a bit proud of myself and my instincts. My feelings were sort of right. And sometimes, you just got to go with your gut.

The future.

"Fifty years from now, don't you want to say that you had the guts to get in the car?"

What a small world.

What if everything that happens, is not a coincidence. What if everything happens, happens for a reason?

We are all interconnected, our roots intertwined, our circles overlap, we have thin strings that connect us together that we do not notice.

We are all the same because we are all different.

Tuesday, 12 January 2010

I won't give you the satisfaction.

Even if it means that i will be tortured along the way either.

Even if it means that i have to endure harsh words and angry glances and ill thoughts.

Even if it means that i will always feel bad and sick and evil, when actually i am not.

Even if it means i have to stay home during the effing holidays.

Even if it means i have to be bedridden.

I won't give you any satisfaction since it will not give me mine.

That's how a villain i can be.

Who am i?

What right do i have to preach to the preachers?

What qualifications do i have to give me the means to do what i think is best for the greater good?

Come on everybody, lets ask existential questions. Who are we, really?

Change of character.

I hate it when i am the bad guy.

But i guess that every story needs a villain. Thus i am one in my own story.

What's up with that?

Sunday, 10 January 2010

Aku ambil masa sekejap.

Izinkan aku bertutur dalam bahasa ibunda aku kerana aku tak boleh nak luahkan perasaan ini dalam bahasa lain. Sebenarnya kalau boleh aku tak nak tulis dalam bahasa melayu ni, sebab kalau aku guna bahasa melayu bunyinya kasar sikit. Tapi nak buat macam mana, aku dah kasar sekarang.

Kepada semua yang membaca(kalau ada), apa yang akan aku tuliskan di sini sebentar lagi adalah kesemuanya soalan retorik, jadi tidak perlu untuk anda atau mana-mana pihak jawab soalan sedemikian.

Adakah salah kalau aku nak cakap yang aku menyampah dengan kau? Kau ni dah semakin bajet dan up(kalau aku permudahkan bahasanya). Boleh tak tolong rileks sekejap dan sabar dan tak payah nak menunjuk. Aku tahu kau ni digilai ramai, lelaki mahupun perempuan(ahahaha), tetapi relaks lah. Nak kata aku cemburu, entahlah, tak ada apa-apa yang ada pada kau yang buat aku rasa kekurangan. Nak kata aku dengki, kau itu kawan aku, takkanlah aku nak cakap semua nie sebab aku benci kau. Aku sayang kau jugak cuma kau semakin buat aku menyampah dan aku tak nak lah lihat kau ketandusan kenalan.

Dan jahat tak kalau aku cakap kau(orang lain) ini meamng tak ikhlas. Tetapi siapalah aku kan, tak semestinya apa aku rasa semuanya betul. namun cara kau itu, nampak sangat tak ikhlas dan kau tamak-kau nak lagi walaupun sudah diberi banyak, terlalu banyak, pada pandangan aku. Tak boleh kah kau puas dengan apa yang kau ada? Adakah kau cepat hilang punca? Kalau begitu, belajarlah cari balik punca.

Adakah jahat juga kalau aku kata aku tak nak. Tak nak kepada segala-galanya yang kau, kau dan kau(rindu perempuan jomblo) beri/minta/kasi/mohon/perlu/ dan sebagaianya daripada dan kepada aku. Aku pun serba banyak kekurangan. Dan buat masa ini, aku tiada masa nak kongsi dengan orang yang tiada kepentingan bagi aku.

Aku lebih rela nampak jahat daripada bertopengkan baik tetapi hipokrit.

aku pun sudah berubah. Aku sedang menghadapinya. Kau pun hadapinyalah.


Guess what.

I just found out that other people have lives too, and that the whole world does not revolve around me.

WOWOWOWOW, thass so big realizashen.

I know that this is useless.

I try so hard to hate people, but i can't. All i do is emphathise and sympathise to people i think i should hate and ignore and ridicule(if i could).

I know i don't seem too much for compassion.

All crimes are crimes of passion.

Still inexperienced.

Long story short, i had to get home early than other non-special students. So i alwready made all the arrangments and said all the goodbyes.

Honestly, this is the first time i travelled alone, according to my not-so-efficient-memory. So i was all scared and afraid wwaiting alone at the bus station for the bus to arrive. But it seems like it wasn't only me, there was this girl, tudung-ed mind you, so sweet and serene and nice and yet so fragile looking, was a bit panicky in my opninion. Of course if it was me, i would panic too. But she still maintained her composure eventhough i think she was kind of lost. She remained calm and asked for directions or help from other people around her. She even asked me a question which to my disappointment and hers, was a letdown. I felt so bad that i couldn't help her. But i wished her well-being, in my prayers.

Anyways, the bus came and i had to board it. Upon boarding the bus, i took the chance to look one last time at that face, that sweet serene tudung-ed face to etch it in my memory so that i could get ready when we meet again- which i believe will be very soon. The minute i glanced at her, she was glancing at me, smiling back, and thus i smiled back, and all our problems, i believed, went away. At least for my part.

Then the bus took off. Little did i knew, i had another surprise waiting for me at the next stop. My old school friend was on his way home and he was boarding the same bus. So it was a nice surprise to seehim. We chatted for a while and then when we arrived home sweet home, we departed like gentlemens.

All in all, i was thankful and grateful that everything turned out okay. I just wished at least i knew something good happened to that girl.

Thursday, 7 January 2010

Monday, 4 January 2010

Let's take a pause.

As people are personally thinking about how the world revolves around them and consider about Don Juan.

A man of less words with strangers and more with familiars. Prefers to be in a close knit group rather than engaging in crowds.

Has too many friends but no best ones. Why is this so? It is because in friends, there are no best of them, no need to compare, no need to make choices because in making friends, there are no rules or limits to how many and who is the best. At least, that is what he wants to believe in.

Everything interests him but nothing is interested in him.

His currency is based on love, mutual love, sibling love, unrequited love, love triangle, love of the lovers, love from the parents, love from friends and every type of love there is.

A hug for him is worth more than anything for it can warm a thousand winters and freezes time.

If he could, he wold freeze time. Pause it, slow it.

Ignore this post.

I just want to write something without having a topic to write with. But that is not the problem. The problem is that i have missed writing so much.

I am having my mid-semester exams right now, but i can't concentrate to the fullest extent. I'm not sure why.

If it's because i can't wait for the mid-semester breaks, i am not that looking forward to it. Honestly i am not looking forward to anything. All i am doing now is just looking for instant gratifications, temporary happiness, merrymaking that doesn't last a lifetime.

But at least that's better than nothing, aite?

Saturday, 2 January 2010


If i say i am in no mood, or in no condition, to go and meet or gather with old friends and acquaintances., what i mean is i do not have the motherfucking mood to acknowledge you.

Desire controls me or i control my desire?

Wanting something so much to the point of needing it.

Is it me?

Or am i the only one who is pessimistic about the new year?

Surprisingly its over. But a new one begins.

I used to be a stalker to a few people. But not borderline stalker, just internet stalker. I would regularly visit their profile to see what's new and view their photos and just look at how much they've changed and how happy they are without me.

To me, that activity savours much loneliness and envy. Envy of how other people, people i know can have happy times without me. And loneliness for it is a part of me, blood bounded.

But now, surprisingly, to my admiration, i have lost all my keenness towards stalking said people. I have lost interest in knowing what is going on with their lives since they are not that keen in knowing of mine. I have lost the enthusiasm to strike up a conversation with them since some of the times when i did, they act as if humoring me, not treating me with respect (hustle, loyalty, respect-sorry can't resist).

But perhaps, probably, i have found a new person to stalk and delve into. This new person is much more interesting.

What the eff?

Now eveybody's got a DSLR camera?

To those who don't own one, let's be friends.

Friday, 1 January 2010

Alice un Wundabar.

Can't wait for Alice in Wonderland this year. I've always had a crush on her. And she always had the amazing adventures.

"One side makes me taller, while the other side makes me smaller. Hmmmm"

The problem today.

We don't get enough sunshine.

You are my sunshine, my only sunshine
You make me happy, when skies are grey,
Don't really know dear, how much i love you,
So please don't take my sunshine away.

So who can be my sunshine?

To start things off.

Let me introduce myself. They call me Heartbreaker.

I ensnare them with my machinations and charms. In my presence, they are bedazzled by the sheer honesty in my appearance. I am a man of my words and they call me the wordsmith as i am a person of many words.

I do it for them really, make them feel less vulnerable, make them feel secured and make them trust me with all trust they have. Until a certain point, when it comes for me to go and take my leave, to let them learn what they must, i will leave and let them be. It may seem harsh and cruel, but it is what is needed to be done. To make those hypnotised by me, learn the reality of this effed up world.

Besides, sometimes its surpsingly easy for me, although unintentionally, to break down those walls people make and shatter them to pieces from inside and take off just like that.

Heartbreaker, because everytime i leave, my heart breaks. Lolzzzz

Simplicity in contentment.

To be content and happy is of the utmost priority. But in order to achieve that goal, it must not be done byoverdoing. Instead use simplicity. Become a simpleton. Try live in the simple.

For in the simple, we do not have high impossile unachievable standards. We have but mere ones, that are easy to hold on to and to grasp.

My point being, i spent celebrating my new year with my roomates in our room with the celebratory cake and celebratory firecrackers and celebratory pictures with celebratory neighbours. All those in the atmosphere of simple and all in all i am happy and content.

Take that you complicated.