Wednesday, 30 April 2008

What the hell? i thought i was done for. i thought "oh god i am really going to get it this time. i am really dead meat as in literally" but then when i arrived home it was like i was never out. i was home and the air was quite, soothing, seducing at some parts.i was surprised and honestly i felt relieved. But! But i think i will be punished one way or the other. maybe not now , maybe someday. who knows but i have a bad feeling about this.
I am always the one to be blame. They always call me the bad guy because i am so selfish and so self-absorbed. But hey, it's fine by me. You want a bad guy I'm going to be your bad guy, assholes.

Tuesday, 29 April 2008

Aside from being born without my father being there, i just found out or perhaps realized that i had many mothers when i was a kid. maybe this is somehow the reason i am looking for, maybe not.

Monday, 28 April 2008

call me a pansy or a wuss but i just melt during romantic comedies and Lars and the real girl just did it for me. for a second i saw myself in his shoes. i think i am going crazy and i think, scratch that. i know i will be like that. i will be delusional at some point. i just don't know when.

Sunday, 27 April 2008

still working on my theme song.

tell me this smile is true. tell me that i am not sad. tell me that i love living for myself. tell me that you love me so that i can say thank you and go away so you can live your life more happier than mine. tell me , tell me.
It's not that i feel like i am not worthy to be your friends. i have enough confidence for that but i don't have enough to make me feel that i am up to your standards. we are from different worlds. i can't, i just can't.

Softly now,
somethings in life that are not meant to be

Here's to our problems and here's to our fights
Here's to our achings and here's to your having a good life
from me.

Here's to your lover and here's to my wife,
Here's to your children and here's to your having a good life
from me.
I'm like a fish in a small aquarium. i am trapped and i can't move freely in my current state. People pass by admiring my cuteness but they do not have the power nor the heart to release me of my sadness. i have companions but i do not necessarily know them but i understand how they are feeling. like me they too are trapped and long to be free.

*everybody's got to hold on hope, it's the last thing that's holding me.
It's always being depressed or being mad. that's the only feeling my heart understands. it knows not happy and jolly. please someone put me out of my misery. i beg you.

Friday, 25 April 2008

Fly me to the moon, let me play among the stars,
let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars,
in other words, hold my hand,
in other words baby kiss me.

Fill my heart with song and let me sing forevermore,
you are all i long for all i worship and adore,
in other words please be true,
in other words i love you.

I am so bored, anyone got any pills and a coke? i need to be overdosed.

Thursday, 24 April 2008

you've got growing up to do, and i advise you to do it fast.
yeah well, i hope everybody is having fun without me.
I am beginning to like my hair. thank god. now there's one accomplishment.

Sunday, 20 April 2008

I consider myself better than the others, emotionally/mentally. but of course academically maybe not

Saturday, 19 April 2008

I'll try inserting more pictures in this here blog, currently it just seems dull and full of rantings and what not. duuuuuh

Friday, 18 April 2008

Hello sunshine.
Just found out that the world is full of bad people. i am so naive and gullible. at this point in time it is the utmost difficult to trust anyone.

Monday, 14 April 2008

Can't wait to get out of here and commit myself to a life of leisure and live like old people.
I'd rather live alone than argue about who's going to do the dishes or who's going to do the laundry. Too much quarrels.
It's been a while. so much to write so little time. see ya next time bloggie. :)
Perfected skill. Living organism created to beseech destruction on others. A robot made by man to bring devastation to humanity itself. A creation to kill the creator. aaaah sod off.
Farking arseholes. sometimes i swear for no apparent reason. it's fun and overwhelmingly merry. :D
I wish so many things that wishing is just not enough. i want to be so hardworking that actually i can finish my work on time and hand it in. let's get drunk eh.

Friday, 11 April 2008

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

I love you much more than yesterday but not enough than tomorrow.
I already feel good about myself, i don't need you to condescend me and make me feel inferior to you or anyone else. if you want to destroy someone's self esteem, go and get rid of your own, bastard.

Sunday, 6 April 2008

God damn i love tasers, they are so cool.
Problem is a bleak word for challenge. muahahaha
I'm tired of all of this. every year i have this period of which i condemn myself from the world and lock myself in my room refusing to go out and face the problems. i give up and let the problem take over me, let me feel depressed and narrow-minded and angst. i just need a helping hand and a lending ear. but even if i found them, would i be spreading my heart out? dilemma dilemma.

Saturday, 5 April 2008

Hello everyone.
how are you all today?
we are here today because i am a hypocrite.
that's all.
thank you.
The only person i truly trust is my sister, and i don't actually have one. does this make sense? :D
Right now i have yet to meet someone who understands my cynical and laughable nature. someone who understands my sense of humour. i guess i'll keep looking.