When we were kids we always had someone to look up to, even when our lives were shit we would have someone to idolize. But as we get older and we constantly try to seek reassurance and look for our idols, it always ends up in disappointment. The ones who we loved when were were young are the ones who will eventually break our hearts into tiny bits of pieces. That's what i learned from seeing. And that is why no matter how much i adore a celebrity, or how much i want to meet them, i will never want to hang out with them because in our fantasies we have perfected them. We created this celebrity into a perfect being with no flaws. We made them ideal. I'll just meet them in person for like a few moments and take pictures but that's it. Nothing more but of course nothing less.

These pick-up lines just make my day. :D

Do you believe in love at first sight? If not, I'll walk by again.

They call me Milk, because I do your body good!
If you're sweet you can call me sweetie, if you're nice you can call me hunny, if you're hot you can call me tonight
Excuse me, I've seem to have lost my virginity, can I have yours?

If you can't be with the ones you love, then love the one you're with.

If you're naughty go to your room. If you wanna be naughty go to my room!
Wanna play fireman? We can stop, drop and roll.
I may not be Fred Flinstone, but I can sure make your bedrock.

If I told you you had a nice body, would you hold it against me?

I'm not feeling myself tonight, can I feel you?

You must be Jamaican, Cause you Jamaican me crazy.

The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.

Ok now i know the truth, it's up to me what to do with it and to believe it or not.

I guess you hate me because i don't attend to all your needs like your subordinates huh. Well why would i want you to like me when it costs me to serve you and only you. You think you're that good to the extent that everyone has to do what you tell them to. Here's a newsflash, you're not. Maybe they like you because you're fun to be with or some other bizarre reason god knows what, i don't, anymore. I just want you to get this in your head that you can't order people what to do. And when they can't do as they're commanded you ignore them and passive agressively mock them. You have no right. None whatsoever.





bitch.

There's many things that i would love right now but the prominent one is having an extremely wild imagination. And then i can just live in the imaginary world with imaginary friends making imaginary fun. Though it would all seem fake and unreal, but it's the next best thing.

BONECA BONECA BONECA. ahahaha like i said, if i could express myself truely, Boneca's songs is how i would sound like. :D

SO right now everything is okaaay. My brother's going to get married in march and I'm still going to be a sadass loser with no girlfriend and a life. :)

Cheers to the new couple to be.

I so fcuking want to go to one of Michael Buble's concert. AAAAARGH. I'm so high right now just after watching one of his concerts in tv, imagine what'll happen if he came to Malaysia. I think i'll just faint or maybe die of happiness. :)

What a ridiculously reason to throw tantrums for.

You can go ahead and spread rumours about me. Badmouthing me in my back. You can go ahead and say that i am selfish and it's all my fault. At least in truth i know that in your eyes, it's always everyone's fault. Never you at blame. This time i wash my hands of you. shwiish swashh

Everytime you talk to me, it just makes me angrier and angrier until i just want to explode and punch you right in the face. But that's my weakness, i just can't express anger, maybe you don't know that but then again maybe you do. All i know is having a friend like you is self-sabotaging and it's eating me alive inside. All you care is about yourself, you don't think about others and what happens to you. You're always in a give and take relationship and all you do is take. I've tried so hard, this just won't work out. I don't care if people say that's bad of me and selfish of me for doing that because they don't know what actually happened and they don't have the fcuking right to judge me in that way. Fcuk Off!

Newly found admiration. The name's Joshua Radin. A one man band, which contains the guitarist and the singer. :D His tracks have been played in the movie The Last Kiss and in the dramedy series Scrubs which is one of my favourite tv shows as well. His songs include "Winter", "Closer", What If you",, "Starmile" and many more. Hope you guys like him, cause i surely do.

This is his music video namely "Closer".

I feel bad for doing that to you but i just had to. I didn't mean to say you deserve it but i can't help myself, i just had to and am sorry for what i've done. But i won't promise to you that i'll try better next time because i won't, i know i won't. It's just that everytime i see your face i feel unhappy. I don't deny that i am jealous of your success but it's no envy to the extent that makes me want to sabotage your life. I am just a harmless green monster. But somehow i despise you, i hate you for no reason, and thus i try and distance myself from you before i express my harboured feelings toward you and ending some"thing" you hold dear. As for me i have left that "thing" a long time ago. I don't regret it tough but i pity you, you deserve better.

Uncomfortable silence.

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have you ever experienced uncomfortable silences? Silences that just makes you want to talk but you don't know what to say or whether it was the right time to say it. A period where you feel awkward where the quiet happens. It just makes me feel want to burst out and explode when it happens to me. Uuuurgh.

I can't believe I'm trying to be someone who I am not just to satisfy the needs of someone. I can't believe i am a fake trying to fit in this particular group. After all that despising and hating people who are just putting a face up, i am one of them at last. How i must despise myself more than i have despised others for doing the very same thing i hate other people doing and for obstructing my own principles. I must stop this lie for no one will accept me if i am not myself and by chance they don't accept who i am then of course that means they don't deserve to be my friends. I deserve better.