When i am in my room, i feel like i'm in a very different dimension. It's like i am in some sort of time machine where time is not relevant to me. I feel like i don't know what is going on outside my fortress of solitude.
Because of that also, in chatrooms, i go invisible sometimes is because i want to be in an alternate reality. I want to lose track of time by myself. I want to be alone with myself without thinking the social constraints of entertaining and keeping up with friends. Sometimes i just don't have the emotional capacity of making conversations with old friends because i just don't feel like it and i always feel like it. Mostly anyways.
But i do not deny that i do miss having long talks with friends and gossipping and chit-chat and whatnot. It encourages affection, but it also encourages me to easily feel fed up. Everything has it's limit i guess. And right now, i am over the border of my limit of staying alone for too long. I need something extraordinary. Right now, i don't feel so special, i don't feel so unique. I feel nothing. No, even that is something. I don't feel anything.
No comments:
Post a Comment